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Health Physical and Mental Health Psychology

Pursuit of happiness…

Seize the day and live in the moment. I don’t think that anyone of us wants to look in his past with regrets. Regrets make us unhappy and fee sorrow. In pursuit of happiness we should stay away from regrets, such as “I hadn’t that thing done”. These guilt feelings may be due to your action, inaction or behavior. You misbehaved with any of your loved ones, after day or two you think “I shouldn’t do this. I really misbehaved”. Such understanding of “sorry feeling” directly connected with power to decide. That’s the reason we think before any act, just to make sure that we will not regret. For example, “will she excuse me if I would do this?” OR “if I don’t do this today I’ll never get this chance again”.

So in pursuit of happiness you should get out of your traditional way of thinking. But how to come out of this pushy and forceful rut? Let see how.

Don't get burdened or you'll wither

  • If something is not effective, stop doing it.

Most of the times we are unhappy, feel miserable due to persistent try to do something which is not working. You got yourself into a rut. Maybe are working hard to do job you don’t like. You may happy in other aspects of life but not with your job, because you are not making enough money. Now you are starting to get into a cycle. You want to pay off your student loan debts. You have to pay utility bills. Now in order to meet with these daily life expenses you would probably think about part time jobs. Probably you and your wife have to work hard which can disturb your marital relation, and it’s just beginning. Such miserable and stressed condition would start regret, unhappiness and misery.

May be it’s working for anybody else but not working for you. Now what to do? Just think through for some radical change and stop doing what you are doing. Calculate odds and risks involved in your decision. Review your priorities. Feel your life a fresh start adventure with cathartic experience. Set new ambitions. Give some relax to your productive and creative energy, unshackle yourself from darkness of regret and take a new direction. Such decision may come with some difficulties but you will have control of your life. Life would not be any different if you keep doing what you are doing always in daily life.[bctt tweet=”Stop doing what’s not working for you and do what is effective for you.” username=”knowledgeisle”]

You may be in a bad relationship, either wife or a friend, or sometimes you feel like you stuck in a place. Just have courage to unshackle and get you free. Liberate yourself from the misery of position you are in and take new route. Stop doing what’s not working for you. You can start doing what works for you, in pursuit of happiness.

  • Don’t get burdened by hard thinking, just pick a place to start.

We all have a to-do list of activities of day or week either at home or at workplace. Just like that we are also occupied with more stuff like that in our daily life. We wish to take some important decision of our life. For example “I am getting overweight I should start exercise to lose my weight”. But everyday this decision is being postponed due to time management, busy schedule or any other excuses. Similarly if you want to get a different job, you want to create work-life balance, eating healthier or want summer tour. Don’t just think hard about it, just do it.[bctt tweet=”Choose one thing from your to-do tasks which is big source of regret.” username=”knowledgeisle”]

Ever think about the reason behind this. Burden of tasks in “To do” list, is the reason of delay and postponement. Have you ever realized that most of the tasks we decide to accomplish daily are mostly never done? These undone tasks cause regret and lead to unhappiness. So just pick a place to start by prioritizing your tasks. Choose one thing from your to-do tasks which is big source of regret. I am not saying to forget about other tasks, but to burden of tasks you have to begin with something.

Consider yourself grizzly bear looking for a fish (prioritize task), now don’t lose your focus. It’s good to do one thing better than to do all poorly. Don’t try to do all at once, rather pick a place to start and don’t feel stuck. As of result you’ll get yourself free from misery of feeling that you are not worthy and ineffective. You’ll get satisfaction. By feeling energized you’ll have strategy for moving forward in pursuit of happiness.

Do not blame yourself...

  • Make harmony with yourself and don’t blame yourself.

Sometimes in life what is done is done, and what is gone is gone. Let bygone by bygone. In case of mishap or regret don’t blame yourself too much, and make peace with yourself. I want to share the story of one of my friends, who was living his happy married life with kids. He tried to make more money and invested a huge amount in Forex market and stock exchange. Unfortunately, he faced loss and lose large amount of his savings. Sadly he even tried to suicide, but luckily failed. Every day he felt sorry for himself while thinking that he is complete failure. It took him about two years to recover from such a big loss, and ultimately he found peace with himself.[bctt tweet=”Make peace yourself, get yourself free from past in pursuit of happiness.” username=”knowledgeisle”]

Regret can have a commanding and controlling grip on you. All you have to learn is that how to get yourself release from its clutch. My friend’s regret was due to sudden loss and financial crisis he faced after such a huge loss. However, he is no longer burdened with any regret. Instead he teaches others about pros and cons of this field. Sometimes it’s good to allow yourself to be faulty. Just try to deal with regret feelings and don’t blame yourself over things beyond your control. Make peace yourself, get yourself free from past in pursuit of happiness.

[bctt tweet=”“it doesn’t matter what you don’t have rather pursue your goals with what you have”” username=”knowledgeisle”]

  • Turn your hardship into opportunity.

One of my friends in his childhood was struck by dreadful polio. All of his siblings are normal while he had to depend on others’ assistance. At the earliest, everyone felt sorry for him and commented that he would suffer his whole life. But on the contrary his parents supported him and educate him. He often said “it doesn’t matter what you don’t have rather pursue your goals with what you have”

A blind man had to work with his all senses, and have to discover his inner strength. In a book written by Daniel Gilbert named “Stumbling on happiness”, he shared a case of two sisters. Lori and Reba, who since birth have joint forehead. She were asked about separating their foreheads, she surprisingly said “NO” straight no, because they were happy. I think none of us would ever wish to have joint forehead with his sibling. Both of them responded like they are “not disabled rather differently able”. They can join every moment with each other in pursuit of happiness.

[bctt tweet=”Stop feeling sorry for you, don’t regret and look the world in better way.” username=”knowledgeisle”]

  • Avoid self-victimization.

Each one of us has the quality to amend the way we respond the situations we confront in our lives. Some behave in such situations with positive thinking, rather some felt unfortunate and sorry for them. For example in your teen age you’ve said “I didn’t get appreciation in play”. Similarly comments like “I am not as intelligent as someone else” or “I am unlucky since birth”. In adulthood we mostly said “”I am such a duffer” or “I born poor, will die poor”. Don’t be paralyzed by such self-victimization rather own the situation and control it as per your excellence.

Avoid self-victimization and acknowledge the power within yourself. If you are having a awful day, having relationship issues, facing social problems or feeling dissatisfied. Just don’t victimize yourself and avoid worsen the situation. Don’t blame yourself, don’t make excuses and don’t act helpless to get sympathy. Otherwise you will feel sorry for you and regret. Stop feeling sorry for you, don’t regret and look the world in better way.

  • Avoid company of noxious people.

Every society has some people with lethal tongue. They have nothing to do in their lives but to seize the lives of others. Avoid company of such people who are quick to criticize with callous remarks. These predators are experts in spotting light on our failure and shortfall, so don’t become their prey. These are helpless, unhappy, pessimists and anxious people who would satisfy themselves by making you regret. [bctt tweet=”They squeeze the life of life i.e. happiness, out of you, and you’ll regret and feel sorry for you.” username=”knowledgeisle”]Surround yourself with positive thinking peoples’ gathering, who are supportive. Who will encourage you, have faith in you, and will boost your confidence against challenges.

Negative minded people are tyrant on earth for nothing but negativity and pessimism. They squeeze the life of life i.e. happiness, out of you, and every time you’ll regret and feel sorry for you. You won’t be able to do something great. Even they are able to damage which you cannot erase in your life.

Have company of optimists who life your spirits when you are stuck in a situation. They’ll be there always for your help. You’ll feel motivated, thrilled, confident, alive, inspire and finally happy. Avoid venomous people and be in gathering of optimistic people in pursuit of happiness.

  • Take nothing for-granted, feel the moments and live memorable life.

Your life can be change in any moment. You may have family, parents and friends without having a quality time with them. Most of us take these relations for-granted as many of us have them. Let me share my experience with you. Almost one year back, I had to leave for out-of-station job. Can you imagine, within first week I felt how much I missed my life at home. I feel no shame to admit that, I was feeling regrets of non-fulfillment of my promises. I felt that I was just living a life and not a memorable life.

Value your relations and live your day either at your work or at home. If you want to do something pleasuring you, just do it now and don’t waste your time by planning of tomorrow.

  • Take care of relations and stay in touch.

At some point of time in life, one may think that sustaining friendships is a hard job. What’s the reason behind this hardship? We get busy in our daily working life and don’t get enough time to keep in touch. Believe it or not, we lose our precious friends due to our inattention, and when we’ll realize that, it’ll be too late. To nurture these relations, we must have to be in touch with them, either with a message or a call. Even with a get together once a month. Although it’s not easy but, so that you’ll not regretful in old age, you have to do preserve these relations. Stay in touch, share and live the moments, in pursuit of happiness.

[bctt tweet=”It’s your life, and at the end of the day it’s you who have to face you.” username=”knowledgeisle”]

  • Just pay attention to your heart feelings.

Every society has its unavoidable pressure, no matter you are adult or teenager. That’s why we require doing what society do or wearing what society wear, live in a social way. You play game which is most favorable in neighborhood and watch genre of movie which is favorite to society. Sometimes you do this unintentionally, without knowing that why are doing this. All of us want to become approval of our society and don’t want to become outcast. Least done and enjoys to do what we want to do, and here it comes again, REGRET.

Listen your heart, do what you want to do. Go whenever you want to go, wear whatever you want to wear. Don’t join status-quo society and differentiate yourself and resist the forces. Even no one is listening express yourself in your own way. Follow your passion and let loose your potential. It’s your life, and at the end of the day it’s you who have to face you. Make different, with a goal of cheerful living in the pursuit of happiness.

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